and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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