Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
