I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
