You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
