it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
