I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
