It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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