Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
