All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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