i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
handjob tips. give me some.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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