It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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