she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize