Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
