I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
