how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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