Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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