thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
