i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
