im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize