We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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