I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
