I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
