i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
