it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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