My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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