I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
