I'll bet she douches with gravy.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
