new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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