that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have aggressive nipples.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
