batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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