White coat. Heels.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
