Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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