Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
