Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You're like the curious george of whores
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
