She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
