I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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