we're chasing vodka with high fives
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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