Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize