Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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