I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
