Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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