Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
