Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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