i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
