Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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