he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
whose parrot is this?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
