how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize