She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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