You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
