And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
