Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
