It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
