He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
