I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
