Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize