I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
