I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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