Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize