I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
