you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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