I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
