lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Can i not drive my cunt home
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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