OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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