South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
