There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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