I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize