Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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