And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
