I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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