If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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