You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize