So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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