Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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