Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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