Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Small penises have feelings too.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize