We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
