just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
