on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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