it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
