i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
