I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
