So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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