omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
